NOT FEELING VALUED?

This weekend I discovered a pearl of wisdom - the fundamental need to feel valued. Unless a person feels valued by someone, even if in a small way, we simply will not be our optimal selves. Feeling valued influences how we feel about ourselves, whether we realise this or not, and is fundamental to our overall wellbeing.

Think about the Spouse who wants a divorce, or an employee who hates their job, a child who feels disconnected from their family - what's driving their emotions? At our core is the basic human need to feel valued, to see our place in the world, and feel safe and loved. Our need to feel valued is vital for our emotional, physical and psychological well being.

The first step is understanding who you are and what you need. Start by understanding your talents and strengths. Find a family member or friend or associate who can 'see you' and point out your strong points and what you're good at.

Be 'Confidently Vulnerable' and tell people what you want. If it's your Spouse, share with them the little things that make you happy, so they are aware of your needs - (I remember my Mum always used to say to put a note in my husband's jacket pocket. The last one was for purfume - yes a delivery man arrived recently with a gift from my hubby). In your work environment, be brave, arrange that meeting with your Boss and tell them what's working well and what's not, and come up with solutions together for change. If you're a parent, make a day that is put aside to share some special time with you child and 'be the change you want to see'.

If you are the Spouse, are you thinking about what your Partner needs to make them feel valued? When did you last do something special for them out of the blue? If you're the Employer, does your employee look happy? If not, why not? When did you last ask them how they are, how they are doing, what their needs are? When did you last tell them what they're doing really well? In the words of Richard Branson "look after your employees and they'll treat your customers like gold".

I was in Rosebank recently in South Africa, very late at night. I watched as a cleaner routinely carried out his work, getting the shopping centre ready for the following days trade. I wondered how many residents give him a second thought.

Look around you. What could you do today to bring a little light and show someone how you value what they do, or quite simply, value

who they are?

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